Warning: A Tad Bit Sappy
What I've wanted to do the last few weeks now is chronicle the wave of emotions we've had over the past couple of months....over the last year for that matter.
We spent a full year (2+ years for me and Ben) loving - in an abstract kind of way - this little girl that we knew existed but knew nothing about. But as we all know from our MBA-inspired self-help of 7 Habits, that love is a verb. It's much harder to "verb" when someone is only in your mind. Things like diapers make “verbing” a lot easier to grok.
Driving home that day in January to open up the package containing her referral picture I remember being pretty nervous. What if we didn't think she was cute? What if she was one of those chairman Mao looking babies?
Then having her picture and feeling giddy as all her little features became familiar and became ours. Especially those wiggly toes!! Our images and discussion about what she might be like were gradually replaced with a big blank page as we moved farther from imagination and closer to reality.
Then one day a few weeks ago, that changed to. I think the moment of revelation happened in Canada. Englightenment in the great white north….
It came during a red-eye connection through Toronto, after a walk down a surrealistically long VERY well lit and completely deserted hallway, and a handful of Timkins (for the Boston crowd, think: Canadian Munchkins). All of a sudden the question in my mind she changed from "How is she going to be just right for our family" into "How are we as a family going to be just right for her." "How is she going to change and shape us?" We were chosen for her - not the other way around. I think of all the hoops we've jumped through to be the right parents for Corey or for Ben - or even for Grant, who has been the easiest of the bunch, and I only imagine what we'll need to do for this little bug.
Just about 10 more days and we’ll start to find out.
PS: I’m pretty substantial after sleep deprivation and sugar, eh?
We spent a full year (2+ years for me and Ben) loving - in an abstract kind of way - this little girl that we knew existed but knew nothing about. But as we all know from our MBA-inspired self-help of 7 Habits, that love is a verb. It's much harder to "verb" when someone is only in your mind. Things like diapers make “verbing” a lot easier to grok.
Driving home that day in January to open up the package containing her referral picture I remember being pretty nervous. What if we didn't think she was cute? What if she was one of those chairman Mao looking babies?
Then having her picture and feeling giddy as all her little features became familiar and became ours. Especially those wiggly toes!! Our images and discussion about what she might be like were gradually replaced with a big blank page as we moved farther from imagination and closer to reality.
Then one day a few weeks ago, that changed to. I think the moment of revelation happened in Canada. Englightenment in the great white north….
It came during a red-eye connection through Toronto, after a walk down a surrealistically long VERY well lit and completely deserted hallway, and a handful of Timkins (for the Boston crowd, think: Canadian Munchkins). All of a sudden the question in my mind she changed from "How is she going to be just right for our family" into "How are we as a family going to be just right for her." "How is she going to change and shape us?" We were chosen for her - not the other way around. I think of all the hoops we've jumped through to be the right parents for Corey or for Ben - or even for Grant, who has been the easiest of the bunch, and I only imagine what we'll need to do for this little bug.
Just about 10 more days and we’ll start to find out.
PS: I’m pretty substantial after sleep deprivation and sugar, eh?
posted by C2K at 10:45 PM
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