Better Late than Never: YouXian Post 1
Everyone needs to make their own choices about children and the best way to expand their families, but I have to believe that if everyone who has ever told us that they too had thought of adopting a child had seen what we saw today, there would be a lot fewer children waiting for families right now……
The YouXian Directors met us at the toll both about 15 minutes outside of the town. YouXian the town was actually much bigger than we expected - it was a small city, but didn't feel crowded. To get there we had driven about three hours through a combination of beautiful contryside intertwined with small two story homes right on the street. There was trash everywhere - some of it appeared local, some of it hauled in to be sorted through.
The Directors took us to a local restaurant. When they came onto the bus, Anna's eyes immediately lit up with recognition. Mr. Zhou wasn't even up the steps of the bus before he was reaching for her. We had to hang back while everyone went into the restaurant in order to change her pants, and he held back so he could grab her right from us as we entered.
The first thing I will always remember is in this world of YouXian, the girl we call Anna, has an alter identity. Everyone who knew her before calls her QinQing (sounds sort of like Chaching). She took to the Director’s right away but INSISTED on being able to see us the whole time to make sure we weren’t going anywhere. They even held her during lunch – again as long as we were in sight.
Lunch itself was great. Very local Hunan – and YouXian food – apparently. Spicy, but with really complex sweet undertones. The best stuff was this soup that looked like dishwater. It had what looked like chopped up chicken neckbones in it and was filled with these slimey looking grey gelatinous noodles – about an inch and a half in width. It went around the table twice and none of the American’s touched it. Then Mr. Zhou stood up and served Steve and I. He left all the chicken in the bowl and just fished out the noodles. Obviously we had to oblige and eat. It was actually delicious. The noodles were made from evaporated sweet potato milk or something. We also had this spicy marinated lotus root and some local green vegetable (dong fe shi or something) that were both great.
During lunch there were plenty of toasts given by the Directors welcoming on our visit etc. Steve was able to give a toast for our group – both thanking them for hosting us – and obviously thanking them for their special gift to us.
As lunch was ending the Directors and China team started to talk quickly in Chinese. After some back and forth we heard “Mei Qing” and focused in. Sarah had given them the information on Anna’s finding site and they said they could take us there after the orphanage visit!
After lunch we headed to the orphanage. We had to drive through YouXian city, and then through a small residential area. The orphanage was latterly at the end of the road and the outskirt of the town. It was very very quiet. As we pulled up the nannies were already starting out the upper window looking for us.
Anna spent the first 9 months of her life in a bedroom with 7 other girls. Seeing her empty crib was really emotional. It was grey, a little worn, the sheets were a bit torn. There were no colors. No toys. It was just empty.
The room itself was relatively quite and we figured the other babies must be asleep…until we looked in their beds. Nearly everyone was full. With the exception of one baby who couldn’t have been more than a month old, all the babies were awake. Staring silently at the ceiling. While Anna obviously recognized her caregivers, she wouldn’t go to them. She insisted on staying with us. Linda actually saw one baby that looked so pale that she couldn’t help but touch it to see if it was really real – or really alive.
We met ZheZhen, who was apparently Anna’s buddy occupying the crib next to her. However, whenever they tried to put ZheZhen near Anna, Anna would cry. She clearly wanted to make sure there was no chance she was separated from us. She
After seeing her room and her crib, we went into the playroom. Oh my gosh. There were 18 girls bundled up like Michelin men in suspended animation in their walkers all staring at a TV blaring painfully loud children’s music. It was something out of a post apocalyptical science fiction movie. Could our daughter have spent the first 9 months of her life like this?
After visiting the playroom the nannies all waited to say goodbye to their little QinQing. They all passed her around and gave her little kisses. All the while Anna and an eye or a hand glued to me. It was very telling.
I think the playroom struck me differently than anyone else. Others pointed out that by worldwide orphan standards this whole set up wasn’t so bad. However, their daughters had been in foster care. To imagine the first 9 months in my daughters life to have been spent this way – despite the love she got – was really painful.
The saddest part for me was actually when we were leaving. The nannies and ZheZhen were all watching us from the upstairs window and waving at us until we had pulled down the road, hand turned the corner and were out of sight. The place we had been had just been was Anna’s whole world up until just 3 days before. We were leaving a little piece of her past behind forever. I couldn’t imagine her or us ever being in this strange and remote corner of the world ever again.
The YouXian Directors met us at the toll both about 15 minutes outside of the town. YouXian the town was actually much bigger than we expected - it was a small city, but didn't feel crowded. To get there we had driven about three hours through a combination of beautiful contryside intertwined with small two story homes right on the street. There was trash everywhere - some of it appeared local, some of it hauled in to be sorted through.
The Directors took us to a local restaurant. When they came onto the bus, Anna's eyes immediately lit up with recognition. Mr. Zhou wasn't even up the steps of the bus before he was reaching for her. We had to hang back while everyone went into the restaurant in order to change her pants, and he held back so he could grab her right from us as we entered.
The first thing I will always remember is in this world of YouXian, the girl we call Anna, has an alter identity. Everyone who knew her before calls her QinQing (sounds sort of like Chaching). She took to the Director’s right away but INSISTED on being able to see us the whole time to make sure we weren’t going anywhere. They even held her during lunch – again as long as we were in sight.
Lunch itself was great. Very local Hunan – and YouXian food – apparently. Spicy, but with really complex sweet undertones. The best stuff was this soup that looked like dishwater. It had what looked like chopped up chicken neckbones in it and was filled with these slimey looking grey gelatinous noodles – about an inch and a half in width. It went around the table twice and none of the American’s touched it. Then Mr. Zhou stood up and served Steve and I. He left all the chicken in the bowl and just fished out the noodles. Obviously we had to oblige and eat. It was actually delicious. The noodles were made from evaporated sweet potato milk or something. We also had this spicy marinated lotus root and some local green vegetable (dong fe shi or something) that were both great.
During lunch there were plenty of toasts given by the Directors welcoming on our visit etc. Steve was able to give a toast for our group – both thanking them for hosting us – and obviously thanking them for their special gift to us.
As lunch was ending the Directors and China team started to talk quickly in Chinese. After some back and forth we heard “Mei Qing” and focused in. Sarah had given them the information on Anna’s finding site and they said they could take us there after the orphanage visit!
After lunch we headed to the orphanage. We had to drive through YouXian city, and then through a small residential area. The orphanage was latterly at the end of the road and the outskirt of the town. It was very very quiet. As we pulled up the nannies were already starting out the upper window looking for us.
Anna spent the first 9 months of her life in a bedroom with 7 other girls. Seeing her empty crib was really emotional. It was grey, a little worn, the sheets were a bit torn. There were no colors. No toys. It was just empty.
The room itself was relatively quite and we figured the other babies must be asleep…until we looked in their beds. Nearly everyone was full. With the exception of one baby who couldn’t have been more than a month old, all the babies were awake. Staring silently at the ceiling. While Anna obviously recognized her caregivers, she wouldn’t go to them. She insisted on staying with us. Linda actually saw one baby that looked so pale that she couldn’t help but touch it to see if it was really real – or really alive.
We met ZheZhen, who was apparently Anna’s buddy occupying the crib next to her. However, whenever they tried to put ZheZhen near Anna, Anna would cry. She clearly wanted to make sure there was no chance she was separated from us. She
After seeing her room and her crib, we went into the playroom. Oh my gosh. There were 18 girls bundled up like Michelin men in suspended animation in their walkers all staring at a TV blaring painfully loud children’s music. It was something out of a post apocalyptical science fiction movie. Could our daughter have spent the first 9 months of her life like this?
After visiting the playroom the nannies all waited to say goodbye to their little QinQing. They all passed her around and gave her little kisses. All the while Anna and an eye or a hand glued to me. It was very telling.
I think the playroom struck me differently than anyone else. Others pointed out that by worldwide orphan standards this whole set up wasn’t so bad. However, their daughters had been in foster care. To imagine the first 9 months in my daughters life to have been spent this way – despite the love she got – was really painful.
The saddest part for me was actually when we were leaving. The nannies and ZheZhen were all watching us from the upstairs window and waving at us until we had pulled down the road, hand turned the corner and were out of sight. The place we had been had just been was Anna’s whole world up until just 3 days before. We were leaving a little piece of her past behind forever. I couldn’t imagine her or us ever being in this strange and remote corner of the world ever again.
posted by C2K at 12:03 PM
1 Comments:
My daughter, You Mei Zhao, is at the orphanage right now. You may have seen her. My heart breaks hearing about her surroundings. We will pick her up in May. You sent me an e-mail from Beijing and I have been following your journey. Have a safe trip home!
Blessings, Carrie
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